


What If It's Really Us?

by wickeddot



Category: What If It's Us - Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera
Genre: Ben is adorable, M/M, arthur is a bean, set five years after the book, they're obviously meant to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 09:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17485229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickeddot/pseuds/wickeddot
Summary: “It’s you,” he says quietly, voice barely a whisper.“It’s me,” I reply.ORFive years after the best but also worst summer of his life, Arthur goes back to New York - for good this time.





	What If It's Really Us?

**Author's Note:**

> This book was so beautiful and realistic, but Ben and Arthur deserved better so I gave them better. English is not my main language, sorry if there are any mistakes.

**ARTHUR**

It’s 7:34 am and this is the third time I’m crying today. On a normal day I would probably tell myself to get it together and then slap myself in the face. But today is an exception. For the last 23 hours I have been functioning on only two hours of sleep and tons of coffees.

The almost fifteen-hour drive to New York was exhausting, even though I have only driven for three hours. My parents told me to sleep for the rest of the time being, but my excitement was stronger than my fatigue. So I stayed up the whole time. Something I knew I would regret.

Ethan and Jessie are the cause of what seemed to be the best but also shortest (and last) night of my life (in Milton). When my mother got transferred to New York, meaning we would all have to move there, I contacted my best friends immediately, bringing us all together for one last time. It was weird at first, considering the fact the two of them have a dating history, but after a couple of beers, things were back to normal.

I woke up early yesterday, because I still had to pack everything (I wanted to do it the night before, but Ethan and Jessie had other plans). And as soon as I hopped in the car last night, it downed to me that we were _moving_ to _New York_. New York, the most beautiful place where I once spent the best summer of my life.

The first time I cried was when we entered New York. I was happy and both sad at the same time, and I couldn’t control my emotions. The second time was when we arrived at our new home. The house is absolutely beautiful. It’s everything my parents said it would be and more.

A couple of minutes ago my dad barged into the house with the B-Box and almost dropped it while tripping over a suitcase. I started crying again. I get a little sensitive when it comes to the Box. I can’t imagine what would happen if something broke or went missing it.

I’m also just _really_ tired.

My eyes are still wet and swollen as I put the B-Box on my bed and sit down next to it. Everything Ben gave to me before I left New York five years ago is still in it. Our last photo together is the cherry on top. I move my thumb over Ben’s face and chuckle. I can’t believe I’m this close to seeing him again.

He doesn’t know I’m here, though.

Our platonic relationship has grown a lot over the past five years. Even though we were miles apart, we were closer than ever. But I would be lying if I said I never wished our relationship would be less platonic and more romantic.

I want to surprise him. I want to meet him somewhere and then we will talk a lot and hug and kiss even more. Or I will put up a sign at Dream and Bean, like I did five years ago. Or I will go to his house and he will open the door and we won’t say anything at all. We will kiss and go to his room and -

“Arthur?”

I snap out of my daydream and look up. “Mom?” I say, putting the photo back in the Box before sliding the entire thing behind my back. “I didn’t hear you coming in.”

Mom enters my bedroom and sits down next to me. “If you want, you can go meet him.”

“I know.” That’s all I want to say about it. I don’t know what I want yet. “All of my stuff is here,” I smile. “All of it. Everything. My Georgian ex-room is as empty as can be, and my New York-room is packed.”

My mother smiles back at me. “I know, honey. I’m glad to be back here as well, but I will miss Milton,” she admits. “It had been our home for so many years.”

Things are becoming depressing. She’s already tearing up and I _do not_ want to cry a fourth time. “This house is a fucking big-ass castle,” I note, trying to change the subject.

“Art, watch your language, please.”

I look up at her and grin. “We’re in New York, mother. Nobody watches their language here.”

*.*.*

Dream and Bean hasn’t changed at all. At least, not from the outside. I stand on the other side of the road, the B-poster in my hand. I’m sure whoever works here, would absolutely love my idea. They would make copies of my poster and hang them everywhere, and everyone will be reminded of that time a boy with a hotdog tie searched for the guy he met in the post office.

That, or no one will give a shit. 

The door of Dream and Bean opens, and a guy appears.

It’s Hudson.

Ben’s ex-boyfriend.

Right before he closes the door behind him, he waves to someone inside the coffee shop. “See you later, Benito,” he says, and my entire body freezes and my heart does the exact opposite and holy shit, Ben is _right there_. Inside Dream and Bean. All I have to do is cross the damn street and I will finally see him again.

Hudson closes the door and looks up, his eyes meeting mine right away, as if he knew I was standing here. “Panini dude?” he says quietly. He mutters something before opening the door again and laughs. “Ben, come outside for a second!”

I move my eyes from the door to the window and Ben is standing there, looking completely puzzled. He says something and then Hudson says something, and then Ben looks at me. His shoulder tense and I’m pretty sure he just dropped a coffee.

“You didn’t come all the way from Georgia just to stand there, did you?” Hudson asks.

“Actually -“ I start, but then Hudson gets pushed aside and Ben crosses the street without looking left or right or any other way. His eyes are locked on me. He is determined and happy and sad all at the same time and he looks so courageous and _so good_.

I fumble the poster and put it in my back pocket before Ben can even look at it. I’m about to spread my arms to catch him, but then he stops right in front of me and doesn’t crash into my body like I thought he would.

Instead, he cups my face with shaking hands. “It’s you,” he says quietly, voice barely a whisper.

“It’s me,” I reply.

Then we just stand there, my face in his hands, my hands grabbing his shirt. He looks as gorgeous as ever, and I’m beyond happy to finally see him again. He’s looking at me, at my eyes, my nose, my lips (a little longer than necessary) and then my eyes again, taking it all in. “It’s really you,” he repeats.

“It’s really me,” I say again.

He pulls me into his arms, his shoulders shaking to the rhythm of his sobs. I wasn’t planning on crying a fourth time today but shit, the Universe had other plans.

We hug for what feels like forever - not that I’m complaining - before he lets go. “You look like shit,” he chuckles, eyes red and swollen.

“I feel like shit. I should have taken a nap. I can’t believe I’m presenting myself like this to you. But,” I lift a finger, “I have a really good explanation.”

Ben takes ahold of my hand and kisses it. “I don’t care. I’m just really glad you’re here.”

**BEN**

This is not real. This isn’t happening. It’s probably a very messed up dream that my brain came up with. Arthur will most likely disappear in a couple of seconds, and I will wake up and hate myself for letting me dream about him.

But then Arthur looks up at me and smiles. It’s been five years, but he still does things to my stomach that no one else can do. In those five years, there hasn’t been anyone that I could love the same way I loved Arthur.

And now he’s sitting there and fuck, I can’t wait for my shift to be over.

“Benny, there’s a customer, you idiot.” Alice tosses a towel at my face before turning to the girl that has been waiting for God knows how long. “I apologize, he’s too busy gazing at the pretty lad over there.”

The girl turns around and glances at Arthur. “I would be distracted too. He’s cute.”

“He’s also gay, so…”

Alice pokes me in the ribs. “Ben! Here.” She hands me two coffees. “Get over there. I will cover the rest of your shift.”

Without asking any questions, I grab the coffees and quickly make my way to Arthur. He’s staring out the window, chin resting in his hand. I can tell he’s miles deep into his own thoughts, so I clear my throat as I sit down in front of him. “Here,” I say as I give him his second coffee.

“Mine isn’t empty yet,” he says, but takes the cup anyway.

I smile at him. “I know, but you look like you need an extra one.”

Arthur chuckles and thanks me.

“What are you doing here?” I ask. “I mean, I’m really happy to finally see you face-to-face again, but why are you here? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I would have taken a day off.”

He shrugs. “I wanted to surprise you.”

“Consider me surprised.”

“I’m not here for the summer. I mean, not just the summer. We’re moving here, because my mom got transferred to New York,” he says. He reaches for my hand and squeezes it. His whole face lights up as he smiles, and I fall in love with him even more. “I’m here for good.”

Everything on the inside is burning. I know Arthur would never lie to me, but I can’t believe that we finally have all the time in world. He’s here for good. There’s no going back to Georgia, no more saying goodbye. We will be able to watch the leaves fall together, put up a Christmas tree together and throw snow at each other. We will kiss each other at midnight on January first. We will have the whole year and more.

His hand stays in mine and I have the urge to pull him closer, all the way over the table right into my lap. But we’re in a coffee shop, and I can feel Alice’s eyes on my back. “Do you want to get out of here? Go to my place? My parents aren’t home.”

Arthur nods. “Yes, please.”

*.*.*

I have to be honest, when I thought about entering my empty house with the love of my life, I expected him to push me up against a wall and make out with me like we used to. But when I close the door behind me, Arthur just looks at me, hands in his pockets.

“Is everything okay?” I ask.

His eyes are red and puffy. “I don’t -“ A sob rises from his throat. I take him into my arms, and he buries his head into my neck. “This is the fifth time I’m crying today,” he whispers between sobs. “I’m so sorry, I’m just so fucking _tired_.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” I assure him. “How about we go to my room and take a nap together?”

We head up to my bedroom. As soon as he sees my bed, Arthur lets himself fall on it. I lay down next to him and he automatically moves closer to me, throwing his arm over my chest while letting his head rest on my shoulder. “This is perfect,” he says quietly.

“I agree.” I wrap and arm around him and whisper his name.

He looks up at me. “Yes?”

“Nothing,” I say before I press my lips against his. Five years I had to wait for this moment, and it is finally here. Nothing can beat this; him in my arms and our lips against each other. We both smile when we separate.

Arthur lowers his head again. “Remember when we… You know, when we almost had sex the first time but then didn’t because I messed everything up?” he asks, but he doesn’t let me answer. “You said something to me that night. In Spanish. I didn’t understand what you said but I think I know where you were going with it and I was just wondering… Five years is a long time and things may have changed, so I was wondering… Whatever you felt that night, has that changed too?”

“What do you think? You’re in my bed. We literally just kissed. Arthur, my feelings for you have never changed. _Todavía te quiero. Sigo enamorado de tí_. I was that night and I still am now. I still believe that breaking up after that summer was a good thing, because I don’t know if I would have survived long-distance. But - “

“But I’m here now,” Arthur interrupts me. “And I’m here to stay. _Yo también te quiero_. Long live Google translate.”

I smile at his very good attempt at Spanish. “ _Eres un idiota_.”

“Okay, I did not need Google translate for that,” Arthur murmurs. He falls asleep not much later and I can finally do the same without having to miss my now ex-ex-boyfriend.


End file.
